in the next few days (might even be hours), i have to make a decision.
i always tell myself that if i have to decide on something, i should always use my mind and not my heart. but sometimes you also need to use your heart in order to choose. you don't just decide based on the facts and figures. you also need to decide based how you feel.
oh well, i hope when i read this blog 5 to 10 years from now, i'd say that i made the right choice.
*fingers crossed*
J - your selfish acts ruined our lives and i'll never forgive you for that. think you're a winner? i don't think so. in reality, you're a loser... an attention magnet to be exact. good riddance.
J - ever since you left, things hasn't been the same. because of you i learned to appreciate things even more. you made me a better person. i'll miss you badly but don't worry. i'll carry on.
J - because of you i learned that it's okay to be different and there's nothing to be ashamed of. that it's ok to show the real you, do the hell whatever you want to do as long as you're not affecting anyone. you're an eye-opener.
J - you're a parasite. you say you're concerned about the gravity of the situation but the truth is, you're enjoying your so-called "fame" that boosts your ego. how pathetic. well congratulations... you just destroyed an innocent girl's reputation.
J - you came unexpected. because of you i was able to easily move on. you may never know this but you've helped me a lot and i thank you for that. you're my hero.
for those who have left and with whom i have shared great memories, thank you.
go ahead and continue to sail on...
2006 was one of the best years ever.
though the last 4 months were very challenging, still this year was a blast.
i hope 2007 will be a better one.
i'm sick and tired of all the drama! no more complaining! enjoy life! *winks*
september was the worst month ever (well at least for me. damn reshuffling!), october was a bit of an adjustment (thanks to swing shift), while november seems to be calm (because of anonther reshuffling!).
i hope that december would be a better one. haven't enjoyed much of the christmas season yet so let's see...
now where did i put my wishlist???
tried browsing on my previous blog entries. it was kinda fun looking back on how i struggled during those days, how things worked out and how everything fall into place.
then i stumbled upon an old entry that really caught my attention:
entry for Saturday May 7, 2005 - 02:33am (PDT): office life - i miss the ordinary life. we get to talk about office life yesterday and i really wished that i was in a real office. yun bang kahit naka-office attire ka eh masaya ka naman. i really want to work in an office in makati, look at the skyscrapers around, makipagchismisan, bili ng fishballs at kung ano-anong kakanin outside, surf the net, type dito, type dyan, at kung ano-ano pa. hayyy. sana nga ganito na lang ang buhay ko. i used to work in an office like this and i really missed it. the only consolation right now is the big pay. hayy.
2 months ago, this was already a dream come true for me. now, i guess a part of it still is... the only thing that's missing right now are the people that made these dreams come true. now i came to realize that these people are not only my friends... they are the answer to my dreams. miss you guys!
you won't miss your friends that much.
you tend to give an impression that you're strong even if you're not.
you won't easily fall in love with your best friend.
you don't care what people think about you.
you just do your job and that's it.
you don't get too emotional.
you don't easily get hurt.
you easily adapt to change.
i wish i am. but i'm not.
there are a lot of things that i realized and some that i still have to ponder:
change is inevitable. you've always thought that it's final. kala mo happy ending na. may it be your job, routine or the things that you're used to. you just have to face it. past is past. the only thing that i still and probably would never understand is why some people don't even know the effect of their decisions.
shit happens. if somebody did something bad to you, eh di gumanti ka. if somebody said something bad about you, then try to change yourself. malay mo totoo di ba? and if something bad happens to you, then learn from it.
friends come and go. understand the fact that friends come and go. try to spend the most of your time with them before it's too late. and when they go, you also need to learn to let go. but there will always be a precious few that you should hold on to.
you'll always want more. even if you have everything, you always want something better. you upgrade your pc because its slow. you change your fone because it's outdated. ganun talaga. you're human. you'll always want something better. try to buy yourself a gift once in a while.
always look at the bright side. for the past few weeks, i've been complaining about the way i do my job. but i came to realize that i just complain because i wanted a perfect job. may gulay, hundreds of applicants tried and dreamed of working at amn. no calls, no irate callers, no surf control (on friendster! hehe).. who wouldn't want that? and here i am whining about this and that. a wise person once told me that there's totally no stress in doing your job. it's the people that cause you stress. baka ganun nga. siguro nga namimiss ko lang ang midshift. ganun lang talaga yun. hayyy
last but not the least, never lose hope. some say things happen for a reason. siguro nga. sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down. ika nga ni ethel booba: "ang buhay parang gulong... nasusunog!"
yun lang.... makakain na nga
nostalgia mode...
the past few days have been different, silent and sad. the list of the things i miss are close to infinity. i must admit, the past 11 months have been one of the best moments and almost perfect.
you don't always get the dream house, but you get awfully close. i've never been that happy but i've never been this sad. waking up everyday feeling like someone just died... or maybe it was me, the old me.
some good old friends asked me to just hang on. i'll keep my promise but i cannot guarantee for how long... maybe for a few months. im really tired...
come march 10 and everything will change.
i promised to myself that i should make every second and every moment left memorable before the reshuffling. just as most people say, try to make the most out of it. let the pet peeves and other nonsense come to pass and try to be the best person that you can be. i just hope no one and i say no one will screw up the rest of the days.
