call center boo-boos

working in a call center can be stressful and fun at the same time. here are some of the boo-boos that i remember:

agent: thank you for calling *company name*, my name is *agent's name*
cust: what's your name again?
agent: it's *agent's name*.
cust: you know your name should be changed to "cow".
agent: huh???

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agent: is there anything else i could do for you ma'am.
cust: oh that's all. you've helped me a lot. i don't know how to thank you. you're very kind.
agent: ma'am i just changed your password.

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agent's using gay lingo
agent: ok ma'am, what do you see on the tcp/ip chorva?
cust: oh, i see some numbers on the tcp/ip chorva.
agent: great!

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same gay agent:
agent: thank you for calling *company name*, my name is mayon volcano. may i please have your dsl phone number?
cust: hi, it's xxx-xxx-xxxx.

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agent: thank you for calling *company name*, my name is mark. may i please have your dsl phone number?
cust: what's your name again?
agent: it's mark.
cust: what?
agent: mark.
cust: what?
agent: strawberry.
cust: oh, hi.

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agent 2: hi. i have someone on the other line. she wants to talk to you guys.
agent 1: ok.
agent 2: what's your name again?
agent 1: it's chic.
agent 2: hi ma'am, i have chicken on the other line. she'll be happy to assist you!

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agent: are you in front of your computer right now.
cust: yes.
agent: do you have any window that's open?
cust: oh, no. it's very cold!

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agent: would you like to set your own password or would you like me to give you a generic password.
cust: uhmm.. just give me a generic one.
agent: alright. i have reset your password. your new password will be... let me spell it out for you. that's k as in kilo... a as in apple... m as in mama... o as in october... t as in tango... and e as in echo
cust: "kamowt?" (kamowt in american accent-- kamote in pinoy). that's a cool password. i'll never forget this. all right. everything is working.

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cust: i have a problem with my internet, i cant connect
agent: what is your connection, is it a dial-up or a dsl?
cust: it's dial-up
agent: when did you tried connecting?
cust: just now while talking to you
agent: have you tried connecting while not using your phone?
cust: do i need to do that? agent: yes. because your connection is dial-up

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agent: sir can i hold you?
cust: sure baby!

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agent: can you confirm the name on the account?
cust: it's lukaria smith
agent: how would you like me to call you?
cust: just call me luka!

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cust: ok. what's my new password?
agent: its cdl. that's c for cat... d for david... and l for... for... (mental block)... for love!
cust: hey, it worked! thanks!

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agent: which windows operating system are you using on your computer?
cust: windows office xp 2000

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agent: sir, is that y as in wyoming?
cust: your sure? the last time i checked wyoming starts with a w!

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cust: hello... are you still there?
agent: yes, yes sir. i'm there!

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agent: ok here's what we'll do...
cust: (irate mode) no, the problem with you guys is you're not listening!
agent: ma'am please calm down and just do what i'm going to say!
cust: ok what now sir....